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Figuring out your sexual orientation is complicated for a lot of people, but for someone with a transgender partner , this can raise even more questions. As a teen with an FtM female to male transgender writes, "I just turned 18 a couple days ago.
Navigating the dating world as a trans person
I have been dating an FtM for about five months but just found out that he is an FtM yesterday. I still am in love with him, but I feel like if I keep dating him then I'm a lesbian. Is this true? That is a really good question.
The answer is, probably not. Not really. Sex refers to a person's biological maleness or femaleness.
Females typically have XX chromosomes and males typically have XY chromosomes. Chromosomes are long pieces of DNA that carry the genetic material that people inherit from their parents.
Does Dating Someone Transgender Make You Gay?
Sex is determined immediately when a woman's egg is fertilized by a man's sperm. If an X sperm fertilizes an X egg, the fetus will be female.
If a Y sperm fertilizes the X egg, the fetus will be male. Gender, on the other hand, refers to the cultural, and psychological traits typically associated with one sex or the other. Babies are usually assumed to have a male gender at birth if they have a penis, and a female gender if they have a vulva.
Gender identity is how someone feels about their gender assignment. Sexual orientation, being lesbian, gay, bisexual or straight refers to who you are attracted to.
Transmen and the City
And even though I have heard it many times before, it is still hard to confront. I looked at eight popular dating sites to see which are the most gender inclusive.
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Most stick to the gender binary, forcing people to state that they are either male or female, with no other options. Some have a variety of sexualities to choose from, and some have a combination of options for gender and sexuality. Even once we have been able to select the appropriate identities for yourself and the people you are interested, many trans people still might feel obligated to disclose that they are transgender explicitly in their profiles or early in the conversation. But it often seems like the second you tell someone in the dating world that you are trans, their entire view of you changes.
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But if we tell the person on the other end that we are trans, the person may end the conversation in a huff. Some trans folks might disclose that they are trans early in the conversation with someone they are interested in dating. Sometimes I disclose my gender identity pretty early in the conversation and they stop messaging me immediately.
Personally, I know that I am not ready to date yet. I am still in the middle of my coming out process and am focused on myself more than dating someone else. When I see a trans person that is dating and happy I get excited for them and for myself because I know how hard it is to find someone and feel comfortable.